Stages

I'm not sure what has gotten into me - maybe it's the fact that I've been able to slow down and enjoy the moment more lately - but I like blogging again!

Anyway, recently quite a few people have suggested to me that although certain things get easier as our kids grow older - other things get harder and so the struggle of parenting only changes instead of gets easier. They tell me you may not be changing diapers and having your whole day wrapped up in the mundane, but there are still daily struggles. The funny thing is that this advice has come completely unsolicited and it makes me wonder if I'm doing something that makes people think I'm excited to be through this stage. I haven't figured out an answer to that question.

Funny thing is - I am not excited to be through this stage. Nothing terrifies me more than the day my children hit the stage where they're not "pre-schoolers." Really, I am not looking forward to it. I know darn well that the one thing I am and have always been good at is little kids. Like really little kids. Like 3 is my favorite age, and I am perfectly content with the surrounding 2 years on each side. But anything else makes me a little queasy. I mean, I've always been able to handle the 6-10 year ages okay, as long as I don't really have to be in charge of them for more than a few hours. And I can be great friends with the 11+ ages. But be the mom? Nope, nada, not today. I'm hoping that I will grow into it, and that it will just be this nice transition that I don't realize is happening until it's over and I'm really doing just fine at it. But right now, I'm scared. I have no problem with changing diapers, maybe that's why I wasn't scared of cloth diapers. I have no problem with the whole getting up in the night and getting no sleep for newborns (as long as it doesn't turn into the things we struggled with with Cpc). I am perfectly content to deal with tantrums and fits. I mean often in the moment, and even a while after, I get pretty heated and frustrated. I might even say my kids are driving me crazy. But I am not thinking that things are going to get easier. Nope, I love the innocence, I can laugh at the tantrums and realize they are just trying to figure out the best ways to communicate and get what they want. I'm yearning for a newborn - I think I get I.W.A.N. syndrome just like my cousin Shawni. I wish I had coined the phrase. But really, I just want a 3-year-old. I am relishing Cpc right now, and I know very well that when Cdc reaches this stage I will relish it. I love the independence, and the needing mommy all wrapped up into a chaotic life. I am not exactly sure why.

But I'm glad that people have reminded me of this in their own way - because it made me write out these feelings and keep them a little closer to my heart. I in no way wish this time with my kids would move on - but I won't hesitate to admit that I would enjoy it a lot more with a little less of the down economy.