It's not that we don't care. It's just that, well... why didn't we blog in over a month. Couldn't we have spared half an hour somewhere along the way to post something? Well, yes and no. (In that order.)
Life is different. Leaving New York was hard. It's still hard to believe that our time there has ended. It's really been like the feeling missionaries get a couple of days after they come home - like your whole mission in an instant seems unreal, a two-year dream. You went to sleep, served for two years, and then woke up and life was normal. I hate that feeling because it makes the last year of our life seem so insignificant; but it wasn't. It was the best year of our marriage. It was the best year for our family. And it was the best year for Pmc, the person. (Atec had better years if you count up 365 of the days she spent at Bear Lake and count them as 1 year...)
So I left Syracuse University. I'm not sure when, if ever, I'll go back. Call me crazy for stopping when I was only 9 credits short of a Master's degree, but that's the way it is and I don't regret it. I look back at the whole situation and think 'I thought at the time that Heavenly Father was sending me 2,000 miles away for a Master's degree, but maybe it was never about that in His plan. I sure learned a lot more in my time at home and at church than I did in my time in the classroom. I changed in ways which I never could have at home in Utah. I'm grateful Heavenly Father sent us there.' I hope very much that I still feel that way in 10 years. I left a very small part of myself there, and I'll always miss Dinosaur BBQ, crazy Tom & Barbara, the Dome, 'the Green Mall', and yes, even Wegman's just a little bit. GO 'CUSE!
Life back in Salt Lake hasn't been all roses. I still can't find a job. Stupid recession. (I'll refrain from any political comments as it is midterm election season...) But most of the time my spirits are high and I believe the right opportunity will be found. In the meantime, I've been picking up odd jobs at Mom and Dad's to keep us afloat. Thanks to them for that, and the generous wages my Mom pays.
On a completely random note, I have to record my advice for posterity's sake. DON'T EVER PLAY FANTASY FOOTBALL. It's sneaky addictive. It's only fun when you win. And it makes your sense of fandom warped. I've put myself in a situation where I'm cheering for Austin Collie. Yuck. If there weren't valuable playoff football tickets on the line (thanks to a radio station in Syracuse), I would just walk away now before someone gets hurt. That's it for me right now. Take it away Atec.
I feel a motherly duty to report on the kids, hey it's just the way I am.
So, first Cdc. He's been making some serious strides. I don't have any clue whether I ever posted about him learning to sit up. It was right as we were moving that he figured that out. Then we got here and he learned to wave and army crawl. Now, three days ago he figured out real crawling. However, after two days of practice he gave it up as too slow and has reverted to the army crawl. He's pretty speedy. And even though we now have carpet (which we didn't in Syracuse) he seems to spend most of his time on the hard floor in the kitchen. I guess he is just still a momma's boy and feels the need to follow me, and the kitchen is where I spend most of my time it seems. He finally started to gain weight again and isn't little mr. skinny anymore (not to say that he's fat, he definitely hasn't hit that point yet). He has been packing down the food all along though, and is currently eating more than Cpc most days. He is the smilingest, happy kid you've ever met, and has the most contagious giggle. He still sucks his thumb a little, although it's starting to fade - hopefully that continues and I never have to deal with that battle! He is a bed-sleeper, meaning he REALLY struggles to sleep anywhere other than a crib with his dog. He LOVES his dog. His wrinkly forehead isn't so prevalent lately, but he scrunches his nose a lot when he's really happy. He sleeps a lot still, so I guess he feels the need to make up for the sleepless nights we still have with Cpc.
Speaking of Cpc. You know how I have always said I LOVE the terrible two stage? Well I still do, but Cpc and I are both so passionate, that we've been fighting quite a lot lately. Even though I wish Pmc had a job, I'm grateful that he's home a lot to keep us from quarreling all day long. Sometimes it's hard to know what he just doesn't get because he's two, and what is due to the sensory processing disorder. He really is such a happy kid, and even though it drives me crazy, I love his passion so much. I love seeing how he doesn't care whether or not mom and dad say he can do something, he will do it if he knows he can. We need to work on helping him to see that whether or not he CAN do something doesn't determine whether he SHOULD do it. Cpc's favorite bedtime songs are "ABC's" and "Pickle, Pickle Little Star." He still goes to sleep most nights very well, often without melatonin. We have gone back and forth a little with and without naps, but for now he has settled into having a daily nap around noon. This is great for me, because I'm getting some time to myself during the day to finally finish the crib quilts! We had finally gotten our insurance in Syracuse to cover Cpc's occupational therapy, only to have it yanked out from under us. But hey, I guess it wasn't in the plan. We'll figure it out. For now, Cpc is doing really well. I just want to learn to keep my temper under better control so that he knows better how much I really love and adore him.
As for me. Well, clearly the post that I was going to do about our move and our visit to Utah never happened, so I'm just going to have to do the short version. We came to Utah for the wedding, which was absolutely beautiful, as was all our time with family on both sides. However I will admit the whole thing was stressful on Pmc and I, and it wasn't really until I got back to NY with him that we finally settled everything. We'd just been having our own struggles as of late, and the time apart and traveling definitely magnified that. The traveling with two kids by myself really wasn't that bad, thanks to kind people at the airports and on flights. Both kids did great and I felt pretty good about myself. So when I got back to NY it wasn't even a full 24 hours before Pmc came home to tell me that the University had yanked his assistantship, which meant no way to pay for school, no insurance, and definitely not enough income to even get through a few months. So we dropped to our knees, prayed, and both felt an immediate peace about moving home to Utah. It wasn't even that we thought there was no other option. It just felt right. And over the next couple weeks, we had so many tender mercies that we felt over and over again that it was the right thing. We had a yard sale, sold most of our furniture, packed up an ABF truck, watched our stuff get hauled off, stayed a few extra days to visit friends, and once again drove across the country. We stopped in Fort Wayne, IN to visit my sister who just moved there, and then headed up to Rapid City, SD to visit my other sister. We finally made it to Utah and are living in Pmc's grandparents basement apartment until he finds a job and then a place to live (as we can't stay here past mid-december).
So you can call us crazy if you want, but I know, without a doubt, that our experience in NY was much more than getting a Master's degree, just like Pmc said. It forced us both to look to each other when we needed help, to communicate with each other when we had issues, but most of all to make changes in our family that were desperately needed. I know Heavenly Father has been watching over us, and that we have been blessed for following Him.
I really miss my friends in Syracuse, and it's been kind of hard to come back to Utah in some ways. It's hard to wait for the next opportunity to open up. But we are learning patience (which I think is a lesson I've been working on since I was 2), but I think I'm finally paying attention. Cpc is really helping me out with that one, along with waiting for a job.
Now it's bedtime, so I'm simply going to have to post a picture post later. I'm sorry to my children that I missed recording details - especially to Cdc, he isn't getting nearly the stuff on record that Cpc did....it's not that I don't love you, it's just timing! But it is what it is, and we'll do better.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
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1 comment:
It is a great feeling to know you are in the right place at the right time, even when things are difficult. Brandon also really helps me with the patience thing, and even though sometimes I feel a bit resentful, I am always ultimately grateful for his examples and reminders. :)
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